Finding happiness.

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What’s really happiness? What’s that thing or person that brings joy to one’s life? Is it money? Is it family? Is it love? Is it travelling? Is it being better than others? It’s just very hard to know when you’re as young as I am and maybe for older people too.

I remember being 13 years old and when thinking of happiness I would think of happy couples, two people who are deeply in love and the fact that they are together means everything to them. I remember how I would feel unhappy because my crush rejected me as he liked someone else. I remember crying so much and thinking that it was the end of the world. I was really hurt.

I believe that I adopted this kind of misconception when it comes to happiness through TV or maybe even through the people around me. I can’t understand it that much so I’m guessing it was something like that. I mean, seeing all those romantic movies about happy couple and watching your peers getting into pointless relationships can have a toll on you.

After I got over that eighth class crush I continued to believe that I would find happiness through another person, through someone who accepts me and “loves” me. Little did I know that everything when you’re a teenager is a lie and all feelings aren’t strong.

And that time arrived and I found that person only to realize that relationships don’t bring happiness. Being with someone else doesn’t mean you will be happy it means that you will be twice as hurt as you would if you were single because now you have to care are about the other person too. And sometimes you even give too much just to receive little or nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that you should have an ulterior motive in order to be in a relationship. What I’m saying is that you need the person you’re with to make an effort and be respectful of your needs and wants.

Since this September I’ve been feeling awful. After I had a heartbreak, I broke my leg. Then I started getting severe acne and I became stressed and agitated at all occasions. Then I got my heart broken again and so on… Until I realized what happiness really is.

I realised that loving yourself is not at all easy but that's what makes people happy. Being happy with how your body and your face looks, allowing yourself to fail and make mistakes without judging, having people in your life who love you  and doing what you love is what happiness really is. I failed Algebra and I know that it’s ok because I did more that ok and now I have a second chance. Life is full of second chances because sometimes there’s more in what’s the best you can do. Since stress is out of my life, I can see things clearly and I can face what life throws at me. I feel blessed for the strength that god gives me and I fell inspired to wake up every day and change the world by finally excepting who I am and trying to be a better person.!!!

I wish everyone the best :)

Amalia Boura